Wednesday, June 20, 2012

2 Years Of Motivation

The one question I have consistently been asked again and again over the last 2 years is this:

"Where does the motivation come from and how do I get it?"

I'll tell you where it comes from.  It comes from being absolutely, 100%, without question, fed up with my situation.  It comes from being sick and tired of being sick and tired.

It comes from shaking your fist at the sky and screaming...."I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE ANY MORE!!!"

I have a fire....a RAGE that burns inside me on a daily basis.  It is an anger that drives me. If you have a big lifestyle change you want to undergo, I recommend getting ANGRY and FIRED UP.  You're going to need it.

When I was in the hospital 2 years ago, laying there in my own filth because I wasn't permitted to shower for almost a week, I just remember saying over and over again. NO MORE.  There will be NO MORE of this.  I remember making a list of all the things there would be NO MORE of:

-There would be no more of me relying on other people to help me get out of bed, to help me get around.
-There will be no more of me being so heavy and immobile that another person has to help me go to the bathroom.
-There will be no more of me needing life-saving tests done at the hospital and being told I am "too big for the machine."
-There will be no more being so heavy, the biggest clothes in the Big and Tall store are too small.
-There will be no more being too big to drive a car.
-There will be no more riding in the elevator and being unable to take the stairs.
-There will be no more making my family and friends worry about me dropping dead at any time.
-There will be no more prescriptions.
-There will be no more sympathy from people you don't want it from.
-There will be no more pity.
-There will be no more people telling me that I can't do it myself.
-There will be no more people recommending weight loss surgery to me. 
-There will be no more hospitals. 
-There will be no more blood clots. 

-There will be no more of me eating myself to death. 

No more. And here we are 2 years later.  That's where my motivation comes from.

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