First off I’d like to thank Bryan for inviting me to write this post for you today. For anyone that has met him or seen his story you know how remarkable he is. I came across his story on YouTube and was literally blown away. His passion, commitment and desire to change is inspiring to say the least and we can all learn a thing or two from him. Thanks again Bryan for sharing your journey with all of us.
Bryan asked me to outline what someone can do when starting out on their journey to fitness success. Let’s face it: it’s quite a daunting task no matter how we look at it, isn’t it? There’s so much noise, deception and flat out nonsense out there that hinders rather than helps us in our pursuit for success. Today I’m going to focus on what I always recommend as the starting point for my clients and consultations.
Truth is, it doesn’t begin in the gym with exercise or even in the kitchen. Obviously these components are vital and you’ll need these along the way, but before you tackle all that you have to know why.
You have to uncover that deep internal reason why you’re doing something. This is much more than saying "I want to lose weight or I want to build muscle." Regardless of your goal, you need to uncover your true reason why.
Bryan’s own transformation (and I hope he can verify this) came about right when he was at his lowest point in his life. He found his why: he wanted to live. He realised (correct me if I’m wrong here Bryan) that he had so much more to give in life than be controlled by food and be controlled by his weight – he found his why. (He's right. -Bryan)
Now your reason why doesn’t have to come when you're at your lowest – that’s the beauty of it – it can come at anytime and only you can determine when it comes. Sure I can help you determine what it is, but it must come from you.
Your reason why is going to be way more than just wanting to get in shape. Your reason why might be:
- You want to be healthy enough to walk your daughter down the aisle on her wedding day.
- You want to be fit and healthy enough to play sports with your kids and enjoy life.
- Your why could be that you want to feel a new vigour and lease of life to build self-confidence to do the things you’ve never done.
- It could be that your why is you want to look amazing on your graduation day.
Whatever your why is – once you know what it is – that’s when you can start working towards it. And most importantly at a pace that suits you and you alone. Sure, you might need a push every now and again. But don’t compare your progress to anyone else’s but your own. You only ever have to compete with yourself from yesterday. Self-improvement is the name of the game.
So how do you determine your reason why? With my clients I like to use some reflection questioning techniques. Questions you might ask are:
What are you looking to achieve?
Why do you want to achieve ___________?
What is it about _________ that is important to you?
If you __________how will your life change? What will be different? How will it impact you?
What is it about not ______________ that frightens you?
Who can you enlist to support you in achieving ___________?
For example: I’ll start off with a generic example stating “I want to lose weight”
Q. What are you looking to achieve?
A. I want to lose weight
Q. Why do you want to lose weight?
A. Well I know that I’m heavier than I should be and like to change
Q. What is it about changing that is important to you?
A. Well I’m getting to the age my father was when he died and I’d like to live a lot longer.
Q. If you lose the weight how will your life change – what will be different? How will it impact you?
A. It’ll mean that I’ll get healthier but also mean I’ll be able to watch my kids grow up and not worry if I’ll be around to see them flourish.
Q. What is it about not losing weight that frightens you?
A. The thought of not seeing my kids grow up is frightening and I don’t want to end up the way my Dad did.
Q. Who can you enlist to support you in your pursuit?
A. If I share my goals with my friends and family I believe they will support me 100%.
You see now it’s much more than just wanting to lose weight. There’s an internal reason why. The fire is lit and with the right guidance that person becomes unstoppable in their quest. There will be ups and downs along the way; success is by no means linear. But when you determine your “why”- your true reason why - you’re ensuring you're taking the path with least resistance and the path paved to success.
John Mulry is a Life Transformation Specialist, Writer, Speaker and the owner of Expect Success Fitness Galway Personal Training. Originally from Galway, John has combined his two passions in life – helping others and fitness to start Expect Success Fitness.
John has it made it his mission to ensure that the people of Galway, who are suffering needlessly with their weight loss goals, fears and frustrations, are provided with a platform where they can transform their own lives for the better while also inspiring others in the process.
With a core philosophy built around “Success Oriented Training” & his three pillars of success - training, nutrition and mindset – you won’t just dream about success – you’ll expect it.
“In Life – you don’t always get what you want, but – you ALWAYS get what you EXPECT” - John Mulry