Wednesday, April 10, 2013

An Open Letter To The Weight Loss Industry

To the weight loss industry:

I am never sponsoring, accepting advertising from, or promoting any diet pills. Ever. There is no such thing as a "fat burning pill."  Green coffee beans are not going to do anything to make you lose weight. Ever. You should all be shut down and arrested for fraud. You are deceiving the public and promoting a quick fix that is a lie. I hate you all. Every time I see or hear an advertisement for a weight loss pill, it is an insult to me and everybody else that has worked so hard to keep weight off.

To the diet food companies. You sell a product that pretends to be something like food, except it isn't. How is somebody supposed to live on frozen dinners the rest of their life? They can't. But the dirty little secret is you don't want people to keep the weight off. It's bad for business.  The weight loss industry is a multi-billion dollar cartel of companies that siphons billions out of people's wallets while promising them the world and doing nothing.

To the commercial fitness industry. Really? Pizza day at the gym? News flash: most people don't even need the gym.  Maybe one day they will figure it out. You sell the lie that you can go to the gym and look like a movie star. The truth is, most people never will. And if everybody that signed up for your gym actually went to it, it would be so crowded you would be run out of business. There are legitimate gyms like the one I go to, but most of them are a scam. If you want to "work out," go for a walk. And then do it again.

To the home workout equipment industry. What a sweet scam you're running. You sell people workout equipment that winds up collecting dust and being used to dry laundry.  And what exactly does that shake weight thing do? Yet another big lie.

To the restaurant industry.  No, I am never coming back.  And no, I will never run your ads. Why? Because your "healthy options" almost never are.  Sure, it's only 500 calories...but it's loaded with enough sodium to give a rhinoceros high blood pressure. All you care about is making as much money as possible.  There's nothing wrong with that, but you don't care about anyone's health and never will.

To the big diets.  South Beach. Atkins. Sugar busters. Whoever. Your diets are all a scam.  Because the truth is the truth: you will lose weight when the total number of calories you are consuming is less than the calories you are burning.  Not before.  There is no secret plan that will fix it all for you. And no, carbohydrates do not make you fat, you idiots.

And finally, Dr. Oz.  The greatest snake oil salesman of the century. Dr. Oz brings new meaning to the phrase "there's a sucker born every day."  Dr. Oz profits from low-information TV watchers who watch his show and believe the nonsense he is pedaling. How on Earth somebody who is a medical doctor could promote so many lies day in and day out blows my mind. And yet, he knows what sells. Because people sitting at home watching TV, desperate to lose weight at all costs, will go buy whatever he is pushing. 

I don't believe in conspiracies. But what I know is that all of these thieves and scoundrels have a horrible track record and I want nothing to do with it. I have not worked for 3 years...and will have to continue to work for the rest of my keep off the 360 pounds I have lost just to sell my soul to these scumbags. 

Go away...forever.